You've Got Mail!

A few days ago, I watched You've Got Mail for the nth time. I realized how much I loved that movie and just like a favourite novel that I can read again and again, I could watch it again and again without getting bored. Probably it has to do with chick-flicks and rom-coms which every girl enjoys most. But You've Got Mail is one of my favourite movies for a lot of different reasons. Here are the five things I love most about this movie:

5. It's squeaky clean: It's an American film and a romantic one at that. But there's hardly any scene that can make you squirm or cringe if you are watching it with someone else. Though Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks are in separate relationships, living in with their respective partners, there's no blatant display of physical affection. Almost feels like watching an old Hindi movie!

4. The Internet: The basic premise of the story is that of two strangers who strike an unlikely relationship through the Internet, when in real life there is no love lost between them! The scenes where they write about each other's feelings, chat unexpectedly or wait eagerly for a reply evoke memories of my first tryst with email.The magic of receiving a mail within seconds (though in reality, then it took me days to know if I had got one because I had to visit the now-almost-defunct Net Centre) was unique and so new at that time. The statement "You have 1 new mail" on my Yahoo mail was enough to bring a smile on my face and send my heart fluttering with joy and excitement. The movie shows how it is so easy to express one's feelings and thoughts over the Net even to a stranger, than it is to do so in real life.

3. Pride and Prejudice: One of the most important reasons why I love the movie is the multiple references
made to my all-time favourite novel, Pride and Prejudice. The movie subtly brings about the legendary traits of Elizabeth Bennett and Darcy through the rich and commercial hero, James Fox and the passionate and sensitive herione, Kathleen Kelly. The book also makes an important appearance in one of the crucial scenes in the movie.

2. Books: The movie revolves around two bookstores, owned by the lead pair : the small and unique 'Shop Around the Corner' owned by Kathleen Kelly and the chain of huge books stores owned by Fox and Sons. The character of Kathleen Kelly who inherits the store from her mother is completely woven around her love for books, especially children's books. Her struggles to combat the blatant commercialization of the intimate hobby of reading are in vain. Yet in that one scene where after finally closing her store forever, she walks into the Fox bookstore, Kathleen Kelly proves that it's not the piping hot coffee, the snug sofas or all the other trappings of a bookstore that matter; but the love for books and reading which can be fulfilled even in a cramped chair in the confines of our own house.

1. Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks: They may be more famous for their roles in Sleepless in Seattle but I love them most in this movie. Tom Hanks gives his wealthy and arrogant businessman character a touch of humanity and sensitivity in his interactions with Meg Ryan. While Meg Ryan easily wins your heart with her innocent eyes, typical walk and girl-next-door look. She may not be picture-perfect beautiful and he may not be drop dead gorgeous but they make the perfect pair together.

Whether as a woman, a romantic fool, a book lover, a Pride and Prejudice fan or a movie buff, You've Got Mail is simply my ultimate rom-com.

My Grandmother

December 31st 1925 - as the year came to an end, it also heralded the arrival of a girl in the Subnivis family. A girl who would become a woman in no time. She was my grandmother. Born 88 years ago, she breathed her last on January 14th 2014. This is my tribute to her.

Padmavathi, as she was named, was my father's mother. At the tender age of 9, she was married to my grandfather in a place called Yanam, where these child marriages were then performed. According to her own account, she was so young that she was practically asleep while the ceremony was going on. A few years later, she was sent to live with her husband and her mother-in-law. By the age of 15, she had given birth to her first child - my father. There was a quick succession of children - just one short of making a cricket team. 

Padmavathi was short - she was not even five feet tall, whereas my grandfather was nearer to six feet. They were an Amitabh-Jaya  couple. She was beautiful and regal with a flawless complexion. In fact, when she stepped out of her maternal house in Chatrapur, she was called 'Queen Victoria'. But life in Vizianagaram, my grandfather's ancestral place, was not easy. A difficult-to-please mother-in-law, who doted on her only son, found every opportunity to torment my grandmother. Life was full of hardships - looking after a household of so many people was not a cakewalk. Apart from the financial troubles, the short temper of my grandfather was also a tough task to handle. But my grandmother never lost her cool. 

In fact, everyone who knew her can vouch for one thing - she never ever lost her temper or her patience. Even when caught between two quarreling family members, she never took sides or blamed anyone. 

She loved children and was always concerned about them. While my grandfather would always try to annoy or tease us, she would come to our rescue. She was so patient and loving towards her children, grandchildren and even great-grandchildren. I remember how patiently she would go after one of my youngest cousin brothers to feed him as he ran around the house. Mind you, she was almost 80 years old then. Can anyone of us be that caring and loving, I wonder? I was witness to the extent she would be concerned about children, when in her last days on the bed, even in semi-consciousness, she enquired if I had fed my sons or given them milk or put them to sleep. Can there be anyone like you, Maamma?

Though she looked petite and small ( we often referred to her as 'bujji maamma' meaning cute grandmother), she was mentally a very strong person. When I was expecting my second child, she would often recount to me how she would be up and about as soon as she had delivered a baby, because she was the woman of the house and had to take care of the household. 

In her 88 years of life, my grandmother probably had seen everything - she saw how times had changed, how lifestyles had changed and more often than not, she also saw how people changed. But she always remained stable and balanced. She did not remain attached to the past, but showed an amazing ability to adapt to changing times and attitudes. Wherever she was, she moulded and adapted herself to that household and that particular lifestyle. She never imposed on anyone. Probably that was why everyone loved her.

One cannot even imagine the situations and conditions that my grandmother had to pass through. She faced innumerable tough situations. But every time, she was unfazed. The reason was her immense and unconditional faith in her Guru, Sri Abhirama Paramahamsa. No matter what her problem was, small or big, she confided her troubles only to her Lord and lo, He never ever failed to respond to her. There are stories, legends even, narrated in our family of how her Guru had come to her rescue many a time. In one instance, she even saved my uncle, who was a child then, from drowning. The remarkable thing was when she jumped into the pond, she was pregnant and moreover, had no idea how to swim. She simply took the name of her Guru and plunged into the water. Such was her faith in the Lord that two days before she passed away, she called my mother to her bedside and told her categorically that her soul had already reached her Guru. Even when she was on her deathbed, she kept on praying and remembering her Lord. In her final moments, though she had not had a single morsel of food, she summoned up energy to sing a bhajan along with my mother. I can never forget that visual because it taught me a valuable lesson - the importance of faith and belief in God.

In her daily interactions with anyone, she was as loving and affectionate as she was with her family. When she passed away, even the woman who brought flowers everyday, broke down on hearing the news. There was indeed no one who was untouched by her loving personality.

In her last few years, when she was staying in my father's house, she meticulously followed a routine, never depending on anyone. She always sat in the first room of our house, reading her books and chanting the name of her Guru. Yet, she always took an interest in everyone and was keen in helping out in the household chores. Whenever we sat with her, she was game for a conversation and amused us with her interesting anecdotes. 

Now, when I go back, she will not be there. But I will always feel her presence in my house and remember her the way she used to sit in the first room reading her books. Though tears keep coming to my eyes when I think of her, I am happy that she left this world the way she intended to - surrounded by her loved ones, yet only with the thought of the Lord in her mind and the name of her Guru on her lips. A true example of detachment within attachment!

Maamma - you were a great daughter, sister, wife, daughter-in-law, mother, mother-in-law, grandmother, grandmother-in-law and great-grandmother.You played every role to perfection.  You saw so many generations come and go. You have left us with so many lessons to learn from your life. Maamma - I will always love you and cherish every moment that I spent with you. I will miss you terribly, my dearest Maamma!