December 31st 1925 - as the year came to an end, it also heralded the arrival of a girl in the Subnivis family. A girl who would become a woman in no time. She was my grandmother. Born 88 years ago, she breathed her last on January 14th 2014. This is my tribute to her.
Padmavathi, as she was named, was my father's mother. At the tender age of 9, she was married to my grandfather in a place called Yanam, where these child marriages were then performed. According to her own account, she was so young that she was practically asleep while the ceremony was going on. A few years later, she was sent to live with her husband and her mother-in-law. By the age of 15, she had given birth to her first child - my father. There was a quick succession of children - just one short of making a cricket team.
Padmavathi was short - she was not even five feet tall, whereas my grandfather was nearer to six feet. They were an Amitabh-Jaya couple. She was beautiful and regal with a flawless complexion. In fact, when she stepped out of her maternal house in Chatrapur, she was called 'Queen Victoria'. But life in Vizianagaram, my grandfather's ancestral place, was not easy. A difficult-to-please mother-in-law, who doted on her only son, found every opportunity to torment my grandmother. Life was full of hardships - looking after a household of so many people was not a cakewalk. Apart from the financial troubles, the short temper of my grandfather was also a tough task to handle. But my grandmother never lost her cool.
In fact, everyone who knew her can vouch for one thing - she never ever lost her temper or her patience. Even when caught between two quarreling family members, she never took sides or blamed anyone.
She loved children and was always concerned about them. While my grandfather would always try to annoy or tease us, she would come to our rescue. She was so patient and loving towards her children, grandchildren and even great-grandchildren. I remember how patiently she would go after one of my youngest cousin brothers to feed him as he ran around the house. Mind you, she was almost 80 years old then. Can anyone of us be that caring and loving, I wonder? I was witness to the extent she would be concerned about children, when in her last days on the bed, even in semi-consciousness, she enquired if I had fed my sons or given them milk or put them to sleep. Can there be anyone like you, Maamma?
Though she looked petite and small ( we often referred to her as 'bujji maamma' meaning cute grandmother), she was mentally a very strong person. When I was expecting my second child, she would often recount to me how she would be up and about as soon as she had delivered a baby, because she was the woman of the house and had to take care of the household.
In her 88 years of life, my grandmother probably had seen everything - she saw how times had changed, how lifestyles had changed and more often than not, she also saw how people changed. But she always remained stable and balanced. She did not remain attached to the past, but showed an amazing ability to adapt to changing times and attitudes. Wherever she was, she moulded and adapted herself to that household and that particular lifestyle. She never imposed on anyone. Probably that was why everyone loved her.
One cannot even imagine the situations and conditions that my grandmother had to pass through. She faced innumerable tough situations. But every time, she was unfazed. The reason was her immense and unconditional faith in her Guru, Sri Abhirama Paramahamsa. No matter what her problem was, small or big, she confided her troubles only to her Lord and lo, He never ever failed to respond to her. There are stories, legends even, narrated in our family of how her Guru had come to her rescue many a time. In one instance, she even saved my uncle, who was a child then, from drowning. The remarkable thing was when she jumped into the pond, she was pregnant and moreover, had no idea how to swim. She simply took the name of her Guru and plunged into the water. Such was her faith in the Lord that two days before she passed away, she called my mother to her bedside and told her categorically that her soul had already reached her Guru. Even when she was on her deathbed, she kept on praying and remembering her Lord. In her final moments, though she had not had a single morsel of food, she summoned up energy to sing a bhajan along with my mother. I can never forget that visual because it taught me a valuable lesson - the importance of faith and belief in God.
In her daily interactions with anyone, she was as loving and affectionate as she was with her family. When she passed away, even the woman who brought flowers everyday, broke down on hearing the news. There was indeed no one who was untouched by her loving personality.
In her last few years, when she was staying in my father's house, she meticulously followed a routine, never depending on anyone. She always sat in the first room of our house, reading her books and chanting the name of her Guru. Yet, she always took an interest in everyone and was keen in helping out in the household chores. Whenever we sat with her, she was game for a conversation and amused us with her interesting anecdotes.
Now, when I go back, she will not be there. But I will always feel her presence in my house and remember her the way she used to sit in the first room reading her books. Though tears keep coming to my eyes when I think of her, I am happy that she left this world the way she intended to - surrounded by her loved ones, yet only with the thought of the Lord in her mind and the name of her Guru on her lips. A true example of detachment within attachment!
Maamma - you were a great daughter, sister, wife, daughter-in-law, mother, mother-in-law, grandmother, grandmother-in-law and great-grandmother.You played every role to perfection. You saw so many generations come and go. You have left us with so many lessons to learn from your life. Maamma - I will always love you and cherish every moment that I spent with you. I will miss you terribly, my dearest Maamma!
